The Logic of Sense: How to lose your wallet in Lima

"Paradox is initially that which destroys good sense as the only direction, but it is also that which destroys common sense as the assignation of fixed identities."

I'm quoting Gilles Deleuze, The Logic of Sense. What's worse, I'm doing it to sound smart.

Tonight I went to see Alice in Wonderland in 3D. I chose the theater Jockey Plaza which is probably something like the green zone in Iraq. McDonald's, Starbucks- it's a comissary for us embattled civilian tourists. And it has airconditioning.

Flora came along. She's a friend from Yungay. We attended the dubbed version of the film, Alicia en el pais de maravillas. This will be deleuzian, I thought. The Spanish will make me English. My English has made me Spanish. The difference is my being: my being is difference.

Despite the fact that her ticket cost a day's wages, Flora refused to wear her 3D glasses. She stared in wonder at blurry Alice in Wonderland. Who cares, I thought, at least I'm air-conditioned.

My brain slowed down and I let the creepy, floating cat prance around my 3D glasses. I thought: the actress playing Alice is horrible. I thought: does Flora know the difference between good acting and bad acting? Does she see herself in Alice, or does she see a blurry gringa? I thought: Johnny Depp should have played Alice, he'd have been better, or at least he'd have spent more time on the screen.

I thought: I should have played Alice. I am Alicia and I am in the pais de maravillas. Drink me. Alice becomes smaller. I eat pinguino cake and I become larger.

Everything in Lima is confusing and creepy but it's better than marriage and dreary old London. I'll drink the alcohol that isidoro soaks with the dead snake and I'll wake up from this dream.

In this state, I left the theater without my wallet. It lay in a bed of tired popcorn on the floor of the theater at Jockey Plaza. Inside the wallet I left my only credit cards and access to money, as well as s/400.

We were a block from the theater and I was explaining to Flora that it's bad to give money to the street children outside of Jockey Plaza- they probably huff gass and drink pisco with all those coins. I touched my pocket to make sure that no street child had robbed me. I realized two things: first, I had lost my wallet; second, if I didn't find it, I would never be able to leave Perú, pais de maravillas.

I'd like to tell you that I'm a calm person, that I can handle my business in Perú. But really I'm a paper tiger- I eat ceviche, watch tv and read the newspaper all day, then blog about it. If anything ever really happens, I freak out. I meet some lady in a dress, it's the greatest day of my life. I lose my wallet, fail to contain my evil thoughts about impoverished children, then sprint back to the theater and make a scene.

The dude that cleans the theater had the wallet and hadn't touched a cent. I gave him s/20. On the way home. I gave a street child s/1. I said goodnight to Flora and bought myself piece of chocolate cake.