Open letter to the ice cream truck that circles my block every night between 8 and 9 pm

Dear ice cream truck operator,

Here are several things about your business that I find perplexing:

- It's the end of October. The average temperature in NY this month is between 50 and 64 degrees. This typically requires hats, gloves and scarves. Does it seem likely to you that people are going to march down three flights of stairs to step out into the wintery night and pay you $5 for a klondike bar?

- You come several hours after the sun sets. In fact, you have never come before 8 pm. Assuming that there are children in this neighborhood- I have not seen them- shouldn't you come before their bedtime? Wouldn't it be better to show up before the grown ups are watching reruns of King of Queens and dreaming of tomorrow's dumplings?

- Your song is creepier than death. It's slow and haunting. It reminds me of my nightmares. Not only is the song itself creepy, but it seems like you're playing it slower than it's meant to be heard. The notes linger, eerily, suggesting kidnappings and wilted flowers.

- You might be selling drugs, but even if that's true, why all the subtlety? You don't need the truck and the music- just a buss pass and backpack. Why not just walk around the streets offering drugs to strangers, you know, like a normal businessperson?

I know you don't care and that you'll be back tomorrow. But I want you to know that nothing about what you're doing makes shit sense to me.

Sincerely,
dd